


shouldn't.

by yojin (MnM_PD)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (tbh tho it's the only finished nct fic in my drafts), I FINISHED THIS LAST APRIL 10 2018 LMFAO AND I PUBLISHED EXACTLY A YEAR AFTER, M/M, and the first i'm gonna publish, bc i used to ult taewin so hard, one of the first nct fics i wrote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 09:49:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18408167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MnM_PD/pseuds/yojin
Summary: sicheng thinks it doesn’t matter. his feelings doesn’t matter. it doesn’t. it doesn’t. at all.sharing an ice cream with taeyong seemed to weaken that thinking, though.





	shouldn't.

**Author's Note:**

> word vomit that started @ 1:49 am. first nct fic y’all. i hope i do well for my first taewin fic bc they’ve been ruining me recently. thank u.
> 
> i also cant decide my ult ship between taewin, dotae or dowin like ?? i can't be loyal easily to an ot3 so thanks, life.
> 
> also, this was inspired by the fact that taeyong usually buys sicheng ice cream.

Sicheng wakes up with his neck noticeably sore on the right side, and he grunts softly before slowly opening his eyes. He then sees leather seats, two managers in front of him — one holding a steering wheel, and he remembers that he’s in the car on the way back to the dorms after their last performance in this era of promotions. He sighs and straightens his sitting posture, cracking his neck towards the left side to glance at whose shoulder he troubled when he slept.

 

He clears his throat for a moment then whispers shyly, “Sorry.” His cheeks staining a bit of red as he realizes it was their leader who he burdened on the ride home.

 

The elder shows him a small smile, and it awoke the butterflies in Sicheng’s stomach so well as if the man was an alarm or a warning.  _Well, with his red hair, I could call it a red alert_.

 

“It’s okay, Sicheng. You know you could always lean on me.” Taeyong says with a playful wink, and Sicheng hopefully doesn’t visibly turn pink.

 

“Mm.” Sicheng hums silently as he melts back into the seat and comfort of Taeyong’s warmth. The elder welcomes him and even opens up his arms so Sicheng to bury his back onto Taeyong’s chest. Sicheng obliges, he was really sleepy and needed someone to act as his bed anyway.

 

“I asked the managers earlier if we could get some ice cream and they agreed. I’ll wake you up when we get there.” Taeyong mutters on the crown on Sicheng’s hair as if he’s cooing on a baby. Sicheng nods a little and he hears Taeyong’s lips form in a smile.

 

In the end, he only cuddled with Taeyong. He couldn’t go back to sleep at all, especially when Dongyoung and Jaehyun was bickering at the seats behind his and Taeyong’s. He got dreamy, at least. In every possible way of being dreamy; 1) having a dream while being half asleep and 2) as if he’s floating in the skies because cuddling with Taeyong always feels surreal to him.

 

“Sichengie.” He hears Taeyong whisper as he almost finally slipped towards dream land. He doesn’t open his eyes even as he feel the car stopped to park, he was finally getting sleepy again.

 

Taeyong shakes him gently, “Sicheng, we’re getting ice cream.”

 

Sicheng feels the car’s door sliding to open, and as he blinks his dream away, he sees the other 127 members shuffling out of the car. Taeyong was holding onto his waist even as he sit up and yawn while rubbing his eyes with a finger.

 

“Good morning, sunshine.” Taeyong tells him even if the sun looks like it could set any moment now.

 

Sicheng wiggles in frustration as he was teased and mutters a short, “Aish.” Scratching the side of his head with a pointer finger, his habit when he’s embarrassed.

 

Taeyong squeezes the side of waist and gives him an encouraging smile, “Come on, let’s get some ice cream?”

 

Sicheng nods before he scurries out of the van, slightly saddened that he lost Taeyong’s touch, but as Taeyong follows him out, he thinks it’s not at all bad. Taeyong winked at him again with a smirk, “The managers said we could only have one scoop each, but if you want an extra scoop, I’d pay it for you.”

 

Sicheng makes some kind of noise he isn’t even sure of too, but he back-hugged Taeyong after that, telling him both a thank you and a plead to not embarrass him anymore.

 

Taeyong links his arm with Sicheng, which makes Sicheng shy all over again, then they walk together towards the ice cream shop.

 

It’s these kind of moments when Sicheng’s feelings tend to burst inside of him, it explodes and threatens to get out through Sicheng’s pores because it’s too much and he can’t contain it well. But he handles it, handles it too well. After all, if it’s a heartbreak he’s aiming for, it’s best if he was the one to control how it happens.

 

He unlinks his arm with Taeyong, which slightly confuses the elder, but Sicheng immediately diverts that confusion away when he held Taeyong’s hand instead. Taeyong tilts his red head to the side, then Sicheng squeezes his hand before letting go and stretching his limbs as a fake reason as to why he let go.

 

_It’s okay like this._ He stretches and lets out a short grunt _. It should stay this way_.

 

Sicheng moves his eyes towards Taeyong’s face, and his heart stings as he catches Taeyong’s stare. He averts his eyes immediately, afraid that his feelings might get caught by the elder too.

 

_Feelings_. Sicheng puts a hand inside his pocket and buries his nails onto his palm.  _It doesn’t matter_.

 

“Sicheng hyung, what are you getting?” Donghyuck shouts as the two enter the shop, and he smiles at his dongsaeng before putting an arm on his shoulder.

 

_It really doesn’t._

 

Donghyuck talks about the flavors he wants to get as they look down on what’s available. Donghyuck even asked what Sicheng thinks best of those he mentioned but Sicheng’s mind was preoccupied with thoughts scolding him about the ache inside his chest.

 

Yuta joins the two of them and takes Sicheng away from Donghyuck, having his own arm around Sicheng. He ask Sicheng about the flavor he’s getting too but Sicheng only gives him a shrug.

 

Sicheng takes a glance towards Taeyong, and Sicheng sees that he’s talking to Jaehyun and Johnny, probably about what flavor to get too.

 

Taeyong catches him looking again, and he wanted to look away but Taeyong’s face brightened up before he asked, “Are you getting two scoops?”

 

Sicheng, even though it was tempting, shook his head from left to right, “Nah. Thanks, hyung.”

 

Taeyong pouted and put both hands in the pockets of his jacket, “Your loss.”

 

Sicheng only nodded, and Yuta complained beside him about Sicheng having the choice of getting two scoops. Taeyong only showed his tongue towards Yuta, and Yuta tried to convince Sicheng to have two scoops of Yuta’s order instead. Sicheng only hit his side lightly as an answer, not knowing how to effectively translate the comeback he had in his head from Chinese to Korean.

 

They all said their orders to their manager, and Sicheng decided that he’d just get vanilla in a cone because he just wants something clean and soft, but maybe he’s just boring or lazy to even pick a wild flavor today. In fact, he didn’t crave ice cream. He just wanted  _sleep_ , and — slightly, some cuddles.

 

The orders finally came when he was sitting on a table with Jaehyun, Dongyoung and Yuta. Sicheng’s order was the last to come for their table and he was about to sulk when he turned towards the counter and saw Taeyong holding two cones, both in vanilla flavor but one cone with two scoops.

 

“Here’s yours.” Taeyong says and pushes the two scooped ice cream in front of Sicheng but he’s hard headed so he reaches for the cone that only has one scoop.

 

Taeyong sighs as he pushes the cone with two scoops in front of Sicheng again, “You’re so stubborn.”

 

Sicheng juts his lower lip out as he grabs the cone from Taaeyong, and he glares at the man but Taeyong only shows him a satisfied smile. Then he’s off to deliver the other vanilla flavored ice cream to Johnny.

 

Dongyoung looked at his two scoops and sneers at him, “You’re unbelievably so spoiled.”

 

“I didn’t want it.” Sicheng defends himself, but Dongyoung and Jaehyun only snickers.

 

“Yeah, but our leader spoils you anyway.” Yuta teases and rolls his eyes as if he was jealous of the privilege.

 

“As if you have the right to say that, Yuta.” Taeyong comes back to their table, “You spoil our Sichengie a lot, too, don’t you?”

 

Sicheng, finding himself as the topic and feeling uncomfortable about that fact, shrugs in his seat and says, “Aish, I’m right here. Find something else to talk about.”

 

Dongyoung laughs at his reaction and says something smart to redirect Sicheng’s annoyance to something else, and the younger quickly throws a grateful glance towards him, which he reflects with a knowing smile.

 

They continued to talk about topics that finally were not Sicheng, and then he notices Taeyong not holding any cone or cup, so Sicheng taps his forearm, politely asking for the older’s attention which was trained on Jaehyun’s story about something that happened with Johnny. Taeyong does move his head towards Sicheng after three light taps, and he raises his fashionably cut brow at Sicheng, “Yes, Sicheng?”

 

Sicheng shows him a pout, then he squints at him, “You didn’t order any ice cream.”

 

“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling like it.” Taeyong comfortable says and quirks his lips in an unaffected manner.

 

Sicheng squints even more, “Why ask to go get ice cream, then?”

 

“Well, the members have been craving for it recently, no? You also like ice cream, so why not—“

 

“Stop making excuses, hyung. Why did you not use the opportunity to get one for yourself though?” Sicheng tries to pry more into Taeyong’s brain, because if he would come up with reasons using his own mind instead, some little anxiety and guilt will eat away at him even if the reason he decided on doesn’t have logic at all.

 

Taeyong sighs as if he was caught in a spotlight and was forced to make an inspirational speech, then he mirrored Sicheng’s childish frown, which actually shocked Sicheng a tad bit, “I told the managers I’d just share a cone with you, and in all honesty, I’ve been waiting for you to offer me a taste but you still haven’t. Happy?”

 

Sicheng’s eyes widen, “Did you sacrifice—“

 

“No, no. I’m lazy right now and all I want is sleep and some warmth, but these noisy children wanted ice cream so I had to do it for them.” Taeyong says, and Dongyoung hears the last part of that, so Taeyong raises his shoulders like he won’t take his words back because it was true anyway.

 

“A taste of vanilla would be good too, though.” Taeyong says and he reaches for Sicheng’s cone, “Lemme have some.”

 

Sicheng didn’t resist Taeyong’s hands that were holding his own as he takes a bite of the ice cream with his red tinted lips. Sicheng gulps and tries not to think of how immature it is that he feels his heart flutter because of an indirect kiss. They do this at the dorm most of the time, but something’s intimate when it is an ice cream that he’s sharing with the person he likes.

 

_Likes_. Sicheng stops the whipped railway thoughts in his head.  _Yikes_.

 

Taeyong finishes a bit, and then Dongyoung calls for Sicheng, asking him to supply some other information about the incident with Taeil. Sicheng laughs and then he asks Dongyoung if it was about the dream Taeil had, and Dongyoung confirms. Sicheng licks his melting ice cream first before conversing with his hyungs again, casually passing the ice cream cone to Taeyong who gladly eats it too.

 

Some minutes passed and everyone was done eating their ice cream, Taeyong asking if he could eat the lowest part of the ice cream cone and Sicheng nodding at him. When Taeyong placed it inside his mouth and chewed on it, they were all asked to stand up and get back to the cars. They all did immediately, but even before they get out of the ice cream shop, Taeyong was clinging onto Sicheng again. Sicheng can feel his jaw that was continuously moving due to the fact that he’s still chewing that part of the cone. Taeyong was hugging him by his side and his cheeks were flat against the crook of Sicheng’s shoulder. It tickles a little, but Sicheng just went through the slight feeling of discomfort and got used to it in a second.

 

They approached the car and of course, Sicheng and Taeyong are still seat mates. Taeyong got in first so he was on the side where the window is again, and Sicheng comes later, being surprised by Taeyong’s already open arms.

 

“I want cuddles.” Taeyong says, and Sicheng shows him a bratty expression as to which Taeyong gasps at, but instantly dives in to the offered affection just as fast.

 

Taeyong chuckles as they fix their positions, and Sicheng can feel some sort of painful but wonderful warmth blooming inside his chest, he can feel something flutter in the depth of his gut, he can feel a tug on the corners of his lips. These are his  _feelings_. The electricity he feels on his fingertips, in the borderline of being bad and good. It was feelings for the one holding him; Taeyong, his co-member, his friend, their leader, his hyung.

 

These feelings, that are usually called romantic emotions, does not matter at all. It’s just a crush, a petty one. It’s just his hormones as a boy going through puberty. It’s just that.

 

This ache inside his chest doesn’t matter. The words he wants to confess and say with sure and confident lips doesn’t matter. The love he has for his Taeyong hyung doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to anyone at all.

 

_It shouldn’t._

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to do this thing as realistic as possible but i ended up making it too much of a fluff and emotional constipation lmao. what can i do, i’m a fic writer. writers normally use exaggerated Drama. jk.
> 
> so!! this was my first finished nct fic in my notes and i’m sorry taewin, i love this ship but i tend to write angst first for my ships before making fluffs ?? like,, i gotta go thru some pain before some gain kinda process?? hope you enjoyed reading tho!! and i’m sorry, i’m Bad with ending fics (or basically writing fics) lmao.
> 
> thanks for reading !! love u love u love u
> 
> edit: so, ion ship taewin a lot anymore bc i went with dowin and dotae. but i still love this fic lmfao i laughed at the shit i wrote so i hope yall did too.
> 
> my sis told me “oh so u had this kind of side too” and if thIS WAS TOO CHEESY this probs would be the last.


End file.
